Facing Mortality

As many of you may have seen, Eric Dane passed away this past week, February 19th, after battling ALS. Many people knew him from Grey’s Anatomy or Euphoria, but in the final stretch of his life he became something more than a familiar face on a screen. He became a father speaking directly to his daughters about what truly matters, fully aware that his time was very limited. 

At some point after his diagnosis, understanding there was no cure for the disease he was facing, he chose to record a video message for his daughters about the four things he believed mattered most in life. 

Hearing him speak from that place of clarity and urgency felt familiar in a way that is difficult to describe. Going through my own cancer diagnosis and being confronted with my mortality forced me to reevaluate what truly mattered. And for what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly agree with everything he said. 

He had four main messages he wanted to share. 

1. Live in the Present 

He began by urging his daughters to live in the present. He admitted that for years he would wander mentally, replaying decisions, second-guessing himself, sitting in regret or shame. 

“The past contains regrets. The future remains unknown,” he said. “So you have to live now. The present is all you have. Treasure it, cherish every moment.”

There is something sobering about that perspective when it comes from someone who understands how finite moments truly are. 

2. Fall in Love 

He then spoke about love, not only romantic love, though he encouraged that too - but falling in love with something. A passion. A calling. A craft. He shared that he fell in love with acting when he was young, and that love carried him through his darkest years. It did not define him, but it energized him. “Find something that excites you,” he told his daughters. “Find your path, your purpose, your dream, then go for it. Really go for it.” There is a difference between existing and being pulled forward by something that gives your life meaning. 

3. Find Your People 

He also talked about finding your people. Choosing friends carefully. Allowing yourself to be known and to give yourself fully to the right ones. During his illness, he said he could no longer do the simple things he once took for granted. He couldn’t drive around town or go to the gym the way he used to. Instead, his friends came to him. They sat with him. They ate together, watched games, listened to music. “They don’t do anything special,” he said. “They just show up.” And sometimes, that is everything. 

4. Fight With Every Ounce of Your Being 

Finally, he spoke about fighting. “Fight with every ounce of your being and with dignity,” he said. ALS was slowly taking his body, but he made it clear it would never take his spirit. He wanted his daughters to inherit that resilience — what he called his superpower. To never give up. To fight until their last breath. 

——————— 

Watching someone articulate these truths while knowing the end was near has a way of stripping everything else away. It reminds you what is noise and what is not. For me, these words are not just inspirational quotes. They are anchors I plan on revisiting often. 

There is a clarity that comes when life feels fragile. 

Before my diagnosis, I often found myself thinking about how many of the lessons we hear growing up can start to feel cliché. We hear them so often that, over time, they seem to lose their meaning. But they’re repeated for a reason. At some point in life, we all come face to face with them in a way that makes them real. 

So even if these words read simply on the surface, there will come a day when time no longer feels endless. And when that perspective shifts, what remains are the people we loved, the experiences we shared, and the thoughts we carried. Try to live in a way that leaves as little regret as possible. Give your time and energy to what truly brings you joy.