She Changed the Way I See Everything

After receiving treatment at two hospitals after my AML cancer diagnosis, I was eventually sent to City of Hope. By that point, I had run out of options. City of Hope was the only place on the West Coast offering the clinical trial I needed.

City of Hope is world-renowned for its groundbreaking cancer treatments. The campus felt almost like a small college — a hotel, gardens, basketball courts, and countless buildings spread across the grounds.

I spent about six months there, much of that time living in the on-campus hotel. Every room - and if I had to guess, there were close to 300, was occupied by someone fighting cancer. During that time, I met some of the most remarkable people I’ve ever known.

One person, in particular, changed the way I see life. I think about her often. Her name was Melissa. She was from Washington and had been diagnosed with the same cancer as me: AML.

Chemotherapy works by delivering multiple cycles in hopes of destroying the cancer. When it doesn’t work, it means the cancer is resistant. Melissa had been fighting for over a year just to reach a transplant. With AML, the bone marrow fails to produce healthy blood cells. The goal is for chemo to wipe out the bad cells, then replace them through a bone marrow transplant from a donor, allowing new, healthy cells to grow.

Melissa and I talked often, usually meeting in the hotel lobby. She had been diagnosed many months before me and was still waiting for her transplant. As you can imagine, the treatments and medications take a heavy toll. There were days I couldn’t walk. Getting out of bed to use the bathroom felt like running a marathon. Some days were dark. Others felt impossible.

What stood out about Melissa was her unwavering positivity. It was as if the treatment never touched her spirit. She laughed easily, cracked jokes, and always carried a hopeful outlook, even when things weren’t going well.

I never once heard her complain — not about her diagnosis, not about the setbacks. She felt lucky simply to be alive. One night, when I was feeling especially low, she said to me, “Kiel, every morning let’s text each other three things we’re grateful for.”

For weeks, we did exactly that. Every morning, three things. That simple habit taught me something powerful: even in the worst moments, there is always something worth being thankful for.

With hospital stays and constant treatments, it’s easy to lose touch with the people you meet there. After sending Melissa a few check-in texts with no response, one message finally turned green.

Melissa had passed away.

It completely caught me off guard. She never once hinted that things were going poorly. With her energy and mindset, you would never have guessed she was battling cancer.

I write about her today as a reminder to myself: we can’t control what happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. I’m not saying it’s easy to stay positive during hardship. It isn’t. But the effort itself matters — and sometimes, it can carry you farther than you ever expect.

I also share this simply as a reminder of perspective, knowing that everyone’s challenges are real and personal. This reflection isn’t meant to minimize anyone’s grief, illness, mental health struggles, or other serious life situations. It’s simply an acknowledgment that, in a world this big, there are people carrying far heavier burdens than we may ever see.

This is meant for the moments when we let a bad work call, a delayed flight, or a small inconvenience ruin our day. Appreciate your health. Appreciate the health of the people you love. Don’t let minor frustrations steal your energy. One day, you’ll look back and realize how much time was spent worrying about problems that others would have been grateful to have.